Marlboro Man on ice

For all the ice prancing, 'clickety-clicketies' and tight, glittery costumes he has endured, Kurt Browning is more macho than the average figure skater. Just ask his 'broad'

Photo Caption: Kurt Browning is in Toronto to perform Holiday Festival on Ice, a CBC special airing Tuesday. Browning, the first skater to land a Quad jump in competition, isn't promising another any time soon.
CREDIT: Kevin Van Paassen, National Post

Kurt Browning needed a coffee. He also needed a bagel, or at the very least, a piece of fruit. Something, anything, to take the growl out of his hungry stomach. "I'm still half asleep," the four-time world champion figure skater mumbled, as he plunked down his equipment bag inside one of the dressing rooms at the brand-new Ricoh Coliseum in downtown Toronto. Browning's weary demeanour could be explained by the fact that he and his wife, Sonia Rodriguez, are the proud parents of a four-and-a-half month old baby boy named Gabriel. Or by the fact that it was 9 a.m., and as a professional figure skater, the 37-year-old rarely has to be at work before noon.

It wasn't always like this.

Before Browning found fame and fortune as a pro, he put in endless hours as an amateur, perfecting the fluid routines that saw him dominate the world figure skating scene for five years. But as good as Browning was, when it came to the Olympics, he was never quite golden. He fell at Albertville, France, in 1992, and again, two years later, in Lillehammer, Norway. Browning cried then, and many Canadians cried with him. The tears are long gone now, and with last night's Holiday Festival on Ice to prepare for (the show will air on CBC next Tuesday at 7 p.m.), Browning just needed something to eat. But before he did, he sat down with the National Post to talk about the Marlboro Man, banana hammocks and the National Ballet.

1. You won four World Championships, but falls in Albertville and Lillehammer cost you a chance at winning an Olympic medal. Would you trade the four world titles for one clean skate and a gold?

KB No way. I am kind of used to my little four world title things, I like it. I know people that have won the Olympics, and they didn't do anything else. Literally, they are the Olympic champion, and you don't know where they went, and you don't know who they are. They had one good day. And I have four world titles -- there is no way -- two, two we might have a negotiation. We might. But I worked really hard, and I also came second at the worlds once, which is something that my mother really hates because no one ever talks about it.

2. Have you ever gone back and watched the tape of your fall in Lillehammer?

KB No. I have seen it, but not on purpose. I mean, why? Once you hit your thumb with that hammer, you make a mental note not to do it again. So no, it's not on any greatest hits album, or anything.

3. In 1988, you became the first skater to successfully land a Quad during competition. Why do one in the first place?

KB There was another jump [the Triple Axel] which I couldn't do, which everyone else could do. For some reason that jump wasn't clicking for me, so on the sly, on the side, without my coach even knowing, I was trying this Quad thing, and it was working pretty well. So, it was kind of like: Look at me, look at me, I can't do a Triple Axel but I can do this trick. Then in the 1988 Olympics I had it, but just lost the edge, so then we moved it to the first jump off the program and started taking it seriously. Plus, I was promised a car if I landed it, and I really needed a car [laughs].

4. What kind of car?

KB It was an Audi Quattro. Pretty slick. It was a good ride, and it was a good six months. Then the guy took it back from me.

5. When was the last time you landed a Quad?

KB Clean, and in competition, I probably only landed five -- maybe. Now guys do three in one program. I tried two last year and it hurt for three days. I think there is a word -- turbo smack -- and that is what I did. The last time I landed one clean was in 2002, but I haven't tried one this year. I think the Quad is best left to the tapes.

6. There is a popular perception that most male figure skaters are gay. When people first meet you, and learn that you are a figure skater, do they assume you are gay?

KB Sometimes. Like, you'll be throwing darts in a bar, and some guys will be there, and after a while they'll be like: 'Dude, you're not gay are you?' No. Sorry. I got this gorgeous broad at home I call my wife. Broad -- ooohhhh -- strike that. Strike that. But it doesn't happen really often. Even as a kid I didn't really have a problem with being teased. But it is a natural perception. If I wasn't a skater I would think that, too. We are a little light in the heels, we do clickety-clicketies, and anytime a guy moves to music, other guys get uncomfortable. That's what I think. The costumes don't help either.

7. Your father Dewey was a big game guide and an outfitter who led horseback treks into the Rockies. Presumably he's a guy's guy ...

KB He's the Marlboro Man.

8. Okay. How does the Marlboro Man respond to a son who says: Dad, when I grow up I want to be a figure skater?

KB I never said that. I never wanted to be a figure skater. As he puts it, it chokes you slowly like smoke [laughs]. That's exactly how it happened. We all skated in my hometown of Caroline, Alta., because there was not much ice time. And so there was just hordes of children on the ice playing crack the whip, and to us, that was figure skating. When the other kids started quitting for one reason or another, I just never did. I was having fun. I was the best skater on the hockey team, and I was practising my skating, and it made sense.

9. Have you ever come across a hockey player who you think would make a good figure skater?

KB I watch hockey differently than most people. Sometimes someone will catch my eye, and whenever they are on the ice I start watching their skating. There was something Wayne [Gretzky] always did. He would come over the blue line at full speed, and then, it was like he didn't really just stop, he would just sort of lean back. Before the defenceman even knew it, he would have decelerated so much that he was standing there wide open with seconds, and seconds, to make a play. I always thought that was really cool, and I would try it on my hockey skates. How did he disguise that stop? It is things like that that I notice.

10. Pairs skater Jamie Sale recently posed topless for a men's magazine. Have you ever been approached to pose in a state of undress for a women's magazine?

KB Not for a women's magazine, but for a photo shoot. I would have been nude, and I would have had one skate on, and the other leg would be, like, stuck in a sculpture made to look like ice. It would have wrapped all the way up my leg, so it would have been like I was this iceman. I thought that would have been pretty cool but it never happened.

11. Have you seen Sale's photo spread, and if you have, what sort of marks would you give her for artistic impression and technical merit?

KB High marks. It is tough to be a non-model and to actually pull off sexy. She still was kind of sporty, she wasn't doing that, "Hi I'm a girl and I'm waiting for you to come over to the other side of the bed" thing. She looked good. I liked her in white. Her black hair on white. The very last picture, not my favourite, but the first two pages, definitely 5.9s.

12. Have you ever been presented with a skating costume you refused to wear?

KB It happened just the other day. It was a white shirt, with a high neck, and silver ringlets here and there [touches chest]. I was laughing at it, and Brian [Orser] put it on, and I was like, no, no, no, Brian we got to be together here, both of us have to say no. So I borrowed a shirt, and he had a white shirt, so we just rolled up the sleeves and kind of undid the buttons. And remember the movie Rocketeer? I once had an outfit that was made last-minute. The guy did the best job he could with what I told him to do, but it was made with that really thin spandex. You could see everything. I mean, I'm padding myself to try and make this not look grotesque, but it looked like a banana hammock. I don't know how I looked on the ice, but I felt naked. I really felt naked, and I skated terribly. It's the only time I've ever felt like that.

13. Sale and her partner, David Pelletier, were at the centre of a judging scandal at the 2002 Olympics. Do you believe there were crooked judges rinkside when you were competing?

KB Not that obviously crooked. I always knew there was gamesmanship, and I knew that you had to give presents to every judge. And the judges gave presents to each other, and the Canadian judge had to try and sell their skaters to the other judges. You know, 'You got to see our new pairs teams, they are so great.' It is politicking. There was a time when I was just starting to go international that there was as much stress on the judges to get the right gifts for the other judges as there was to do a good job judging. So you knew there was a chance you weren't being marked as fairly as you were supposed to be, but I never really noticed it in the men's event.

14. What sort of presents did the judges give to one another?

KB Little trinkets. You know, if we were in Germany it might be a little cup, just little mementoes from wherever we might be.

15. Is there such a thing as home-judge advantage?

KB Oh yeah. When you competed in Russia -- good luck. You really had to dominate.

16. Your wife, Sonia Rodriguez, is the principal dancer for the National Ballet of Canada. Obviously she can dance, but can she skate?

KB I can let go of her, and she can take four or five steps on her own. I bought her fancy burgundy skates with a polished sole, and when I hold her hands and pull her she has a great spiral.

17. Was it love at first sight with Sonia?

KB It was lust at first sight [laughs]. Definitely an infatuation, I had a girlfriend at the time, but we didn't act on it. These dancer people -- guys and girls -- they are all beautiful and I was just infatuated with their energy. I remember I hung out with them for two days while they were in Alberta. I drove to Calgary to party with them, and I saw them dance in Calgary and we just had the best time. When I lost the Olympics, I moved to Toronto and I started working with a ballet dancer, who said you should come and watch ballet because it is good for you. And I thought, I remember this little Spanish girl ...

18. If you had opted for pairs instead of singles competition, who would be your all-time fantasy partner?

KB Probably Kristi Yamaguchi. She's tiny, we're really good friends, and I have skated with her because of Stars On Ice. So, I have held her hand, I've picked her up, and I have moved with her. But she's a pairs skater, so she made me look good by matching up with me. I was a born singles skater -- let's just put it this way -- I've broken two girls's collar bones.

19. Whose?

KB My first skating partner, Michelle Pollit, in Rocky Mountain House, Alta. I busted up her shoulder pretty good.

20. What is Michelle up to now?